All of my life, until I was fifteen years old, I had a misunderstanding
of true sorrow and pure love. These feelings were something I had not
experienced or witnessed before. For that reason I had no right to understand
them. My misunderstanding changed the day John was injured, I had known him all
of my life. We went to the same church, but he was more than just a person you
would just say hello every couple of times during a week. He would come to my
house, and I would go to his. We would spend Thanksgiving together and exchange
gifts on Christmas Eve. He was like a big brother to me. I remember one time he
took me fishing. It was the first time I had ever been fishing. He sat there
patiently in the boat while I tried, without much luck, to learn how to cast.
John was like that, he was always relaxed and carefree. We didn't catch anything,
but we sure gain a good memory.
It was a Friday when John
got immobilize. I had just got off the school bus and had gone into the house
when we received the call. My mom answered it; she said "OK" a couple
of times and then hung up. She looked at me and somehow I could sense that
something was wrong. "That was your Grandma. John's been injured in a car
accident. He's been taken to the ER. The doctors think he's broken his neck,
and don't know if he'll last the night." I couldn't convince myself to
believe it. I kept saying in my mind, "She's wrong. There's no way that
could've happened to John." But by the time, I had arrived to the hospital
and stepped into the ICU room, I was brought back to reality: a reality where
death was the only future. John died the next day. I had gone home for the night,
and while I was sleeping, John had a seizure.
The funeral was held at
his favorite church. As I walked down the aisle, all I could think about was
how awful it was for someone to leave this world before they were ready. When everyone seated, the family began
to walk in. As we sang "Farther Along" Joyce John’s fiance began to
cry and tremble so that she had to be helped seated. I began to realize what
love Joyce and John had for each other: a love that would even defy death. A
love as pure as God's love. I prayed somehow that I could ever experience a
love like theirs. I realized that in each of their souls was a part of each
other, and that John would live on in the heart of who loved him and whom he
loved. As my family and l left, I knew that I would see him again, and that all
would be well in the end.
I learned the imminence of
death, and that living is the privilege of those who will eventually die. I try
to live my life so that people might remember me as I remember John.
I think of John often. He seems to be everywhere. When I make an important
decision, I wonder what John would say about it. Whenever I enter a relationship,
I ask myself, "Will he not only become someone I love, but will he become
my friend?" John has affected me, and I am glad because I am for the
better.
Sometimes when I feel
stress and have many things going on, I like go to my backyard and just sit and watch.
I watch things that people normally do not see. I see the beauty that lies in
the natural earth (John made me observe life). I feel the wind brush my face
and I wonder what heaven is like, but I don't wonder if John is there. I know
he is.
